Five Things Girls Think About While Giving A Blowjob

Five Things Girls Think About While Giving A Blowjob

Five Things Girls Think About While Giving A Blowjob
Filed under: 
Sex & Recreation

So you and the girlfriend have been in the mood to get down and dirty all day, but haven't had the chance. Between an early brunch with the family, running errands all afternoon, and dinner with friends from out of town, you've been hot under the collar all day with no sign of release. But now the family's gone, your errands are done, and your friends have left for the night.

Time to get weird.

You've made out, felt up, and stripped down. Only now you're feeling awkward because she's staring down the barrel of your gun and you can't help but wonder if she's judging you. It's hard not to feel so naked and exposed when you're, well, naked and exposed. And while it's nice to tell yourself that she's not thinking of anything but how "fun" giving you a blowjob's going to be (because, hey, if you like what you're doing then you'll never work a day in your life, right?), the fact of the matter is she's definitely got a few things on her mind.

And it's not all good.

So in case you were curious but can't bring yourself to ask while your balls are in someone's mouth, here's a list of five common things girls think about while giving a blowjob:

I love this/I hate this.

Some of us like it

If you hadn't already figured this out, no two girls are the same. For some, giving a blowjob is as much a turn-on for them as it is for their man. Some women enjoy the level of eroticism and intimacy associated with blowjobs. To some, the greatest type of foreplay is knowing they've pleasured their significant other and it may even be enough to send them over the edge.

...but not all of us.

On the other hand, some women hate giving blowjobs. They don’t like the taste, don’t like the smell, don’t like the feeling, or are generally uncomfortable with some aspect of the act itself. And you know what? They don’t have to enjoy it. Not all forms of sex are right for everyone and your partner should never be made to feel guilty, or ashamed, about not enjoying oral sex. If you and your partner can’t find any middle ground between what fulfills your sexual needs, and what makes your partner comfortable, then maybe the best solution is to find someone you’re more sexually compatible with.

 Why am I/is it making this sound?

We also don't like the noise

Men aren't the only ones feeling exposed during a blowjob. In this era, where anything natural and normal is deemed wildly un-sexy, women often question the sounds made during oral sex. From sucking, gurgling, to moaning, there isn't a sound we don’t question, or worry is a turnoff, during the act.

Which is ridiculous. 

It's weird for us too.

During oral sex, women make noises and it’s unavoidable. Sucking makes a sound, sorry not sorry. Having something rapidly shoved into, and out of, a mouth is bound to lead to a bizarre gurgling sound if it’s being inserted deep enough. Choking, coughing, and other such noises will happen if our air supply is tampered with due to a dick in the face.

As much as you may not like them, and as much as we may find them awkward, it’s all part of the “job.” And if anyone, society included, has a problem with them then maybe some serious introspection is needed to figure out why natural sex sounds are under scrutiny. Honestly.

 My knees/jaw/back/neck hurt.

It's not easy having fun

While fellatio may be the bee’s knees from the receiving end, it can really (excuse the pun) suck from the giving end. Depending on where the act is taking place, oral sex can be hard on the body for those who are performing it. If it’s being performed on a granite, wood, or other type of hard flooring, it can be killer on the knees if done for an extended period of time. The bobbing of the head, depending on the severity of the angle, can strain the neck and even the back. And all that sucking can really do a number on your jaw (if you've ever played the clarinet for a few hours, or have a reaction to MSG in foods, the discomfort is akin to that).

 This is what it feels like

If pain is a problem while performing oral sex, there are a few simple solutions. First and foremost, limber up! While it might seem ridiculous, stretching before giving head can make a world of difference. If you’re uncomfortable stretching in front of your partner, which you shouldn't be as you'll soon be putting their giggly-bits in your mouth, make a run for the washroom. Roll your head a few times and then your shoulders, stretch your mouth, massage your jaw, and throw in a few squats for good measure.

Muscle pain sucks

For knees, a pillow or folded blanket can really work wonders. If you’re worried about neck pain, then make sure to include hand stimulus rather than just depending on your mouth. That way you won’t be moving your head the whole time and can take breaks if need be. You can also try to reduce the angle that your head needs to move by either positioning your partner on the edge of the sofa while you’re on your knees or, alternatively, have them stand in front of you while you perform the blowjob on a chair with back support. If you find yourself starting to cramp up, then try changing positions, or simply take a break. Ice also helps with muscle pain, in case you cramp up despite precautions. Lastly, if a sore jaw is a frequent problem try taking a painkiller beforehand, massage your jaw as needed, and try both hot and cold compresses. You may also want to see a doctor if you frequently suffer from jaw pain to make sure you don’t suffer from temporomandibular joint disorder (TMJ).

 Am I even doing this right?

I have no idea what's happening

As great as you may say it is, we can’t help but wonder if we’re doing it right. We've read articles, watched some porn, talked to our friends, but there’s no official training guide on how to give the perfect blowjob. As much as people can give tips and tricks, everyone has different sexual preferences. What may have worked for one guy, may not work for another one. As much as we like to think we've got fellatio on lock, we’re guessing (almost) as much as men are when they're performing female masturbation.

So confused...

The uncertainty as to whether we’re pleasing our partners can be frustrating. Without feedback, there’s no room for improvement or exploration. Which isn't to say that we want you to fill out a comment card like you would at a restaurant the second we’re done, but having an open and honest discussion with your partner about your oral preferences is always a good idea. This is especially important for men who don’t orgasm easily through oral sex. By keeping this information secret, your partner may wonder what they’re "doing wrong" that's keeping you from climaxing, making the event frustrating for everyone.

 What's that taste?/Why does it taste like that?

Blegh

In case anyone thought their penis tasted like a lollipop, as Bieber would like you to believe his does, the fact is it doesn't. Far from it, actually. The human body has sweat glands nearly everywhere, including the genitals, only the glands down there are different from those you'd find on your forehead. Much like your underarms, these glands produce a fattier kind of sweat with a more pungent scent which, under the right circumstances, can lead to BO.

It's gross

Genitals are also a breeding ground for bacteria, regardless of whether you're circumcised or not (although those who've been snipped produce fewer types of bacteria). The mixture of sweat and microbes makes for a less than appetizing cocktail. Now, if your girlfriend (or boyfriend) isn't questioning the taste of your actual member, then the taste of your semen can have them raising their eyebrows. Your dietary habits influence the taste of your sperm, so a balanced diet low in fatty foods is always preferable.

Learn to clean

If taste is something holding you or your partner back from exploring the world of oral sex, there are some simple solutions. Obviously showering regularly is key and washing up beforehand is strongly recommended, if it's topical taste that's the problem. If that's not enough to solve the problem then most sex shops sell flavoured sprays that help with the taste and, unlike whipped cream or other foods people smear on their junk, these are safe for sex (meaning you don't need to wash it off before vaginal sex as they won't cause yeast infections). If it's your sperm that's stopping oral sex in its tracks, try changing your diet. If that's a bust then there's always flavoured condoms you can try or, if you're open to it, finding an alternate way to play that doesn't involve fellatio. 

That's gonna be hard

Also, stop spraying cologne on your junk. Unless you're trying to get your partner drunk on the alcohol in your man-perfume, and there are better things to get drunk on, the smell of it in such strong quantities is noxious and the taste is even worse. It may help mask the smell of your crotch sweat, but washing properly solves the problem. 

Stop spraying it...

 What are some of the things YOU think about while sucking on the D? Tell us in the comments below. 

Images: Header, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

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