The Myth of the Strapless Strap-On

The Myth of the Strapless Strap-On

When I first ventured into the land of lady-on-lady loving I was enamored with the idea of a strapless strap-on. No obnoxious straps. No lost parts. Just yummy direct skin-on-skin contact, mutual penetration and toe curling clitoral friction! What else could a young lesbo dream of?

If you have never seen one of these bad boys, head to a sex shop and give them a look. There are two models that you are likely to find; the Feeldoe and a model by Fun Factory. By inserting and clenching the “the short, curved bulb…into the vagina” Fun Factory says that you will have an “unbeatable sexual experience” completely free of messy straps. If you have ever played with a normal strap-on, you know how difficult it can be; complicated twisted straps make it difficult to get on, clasps suddenly give way moments before orgasm and if your angles aren’t just right that dildo flops around all over the place.

For years, I have dreamt of endless nights of fucking with one of these god-sends. Finally, several penetration-weary partners later, I got my chance! After going heavy on the foreplay and free flowing with lube it was time for the main event.

How dare they call this monstrosity a ‘bulb’! A bulb sounds like the beginnings of a delicate blossom; something tiny and shaped like a sperm. But ohhh no, that is not what it was. Attempting to insert this enormous strangely shaped beach ball into my lady flower felt like I was playing an aggressive game of Tetris with machetes.

Just fuck me alreadyNo pain, no gain- on we go! After thanking the all mighty Sapphic god that my babymaker didn’t rip while getting this thing in, and grateful that my cries of pain hadn’t killed the mood too much, the tapered edge initially kept it comfortably in place while beginning to get our groove on. I must admit that there is nothing more satisfying that playing with this toy. If you are on the receiving end, feeling the tender skin of your lover so close to you and hearing their sighs of her pleasure is incredible. As a giver it is AMAZING! ...for about 30 seconds. With every thrust you get a triple shot of pleasure; the moans of your lover, the contact with your clit and perfect aim right to your g-spot. With that much going on, the moisture level amplifies incredibly… and thus comes the searing pain. Regardless of how hard you try to clench your PVCs, you are going to get dangerously wet and this thing is going to slip out. It hurts going in and boy does it hurts falling out. Worse, noticing that you are slowly losing grasp of this toy as your lover’s cries become sharper and shorter is a tragedy all on its own.

I’ve taken a general poll and it seems that most women I know either gave up on this toy, use it with a harness, or sport a snug fitting pair of underwear to support it. Tragically, I must dispel the myth of the strapless strap-on. Nevertheless, I would strongly recommend you give this toy a try: just with a harness.

By Waxey McBush
Jan 17, 2013 @ 17:07

Comments

Content Stream

  • May 1, 2015 @ 17:34IX Staff9 views
    You should definitely check out the official music video by JR & PH7 X Chuuwee for ''Florin Light Rail''. Taken from The South Sac Mack album. The ''Florin Light Rail'' single pack is now digitally available. Including the original track, instrumental, acapella, remix by Drew Dave and the remix instrumental. Buy ''Florin Light Rail'' single pack:• iTunes: bit.ly/FlorinLightRail• Amazon: http://amzn.to/1PSwDZz• Google Play: http://bit.ly/1DxhXpv...
  • May 1, 2015 @ 11:02IX Staff136 views
    Welcome to the Family | Toronto, CAN. That's how local brand Halfwits Clothing invites people to experience their vibe. They just released their Spring / Summer 2015 collection, and it's right on the ball. This crew gives us a fresh outlook on the boring usual style of Canadian-bred designers, giving a lot of attention to detail, material and wearability. It is not unusual to see designers and collectives spew across the nation offering a select few items to pick from, and with a very...
  • May 1, 2015 @ 10:27Katerina Sevelka50 views
    Hong Kong based jewelry designer and founder of Vulcan Jewelry Desmond Chan finds inspiration for his work everywhere around him, from modern art to the mundane. Ordinary things he stumbles across in the streets can spark imaginative designs. With a background in 3D modelling and animation, Chan first came to designing jewelry during Christmas of 2013 while feeling unable to find a special gift for his wife. Using his 3D modeling skills he was able to design the perfect gift: a star-shaped...
  • Apr 30, 2015 @ 10:34IX Staff44 views
    Gamers have for years longed for their favourite video games to come to life with 3D graphics. In recent years, this dream has become a reality in the form of augmented reality gaming. Developers all over the world have begun to incorporate AR technology into their video games, to give gamers exactly what they want. AR games allow players the ability to interact with video games directly through mere physical movement rather than through a controller or a keyboard. Augmented reality (AR)...
  • Apr 29, 2015 @ 12:24IX Staff74 views
    We've seen a teaser of this, but now it's out. The new Tinashe music video for her single "All Hands On Deck" just got released, and it's awesome as can be. The "2 On" singer collaborated with Youtube on this one, with beautiful imagery and great dance sequences, just like we like it. Watch the video right here:  Tinashe's "All Hands On Deck" available now off the debut album 'Aquarius'! Get it on iTunes: http://smarturl.it/TinasheAquarius?IQ Listen to some of these cool remixes...
  • Apr 29, 2015 @ 11:03Nick Brutus Grass Younes32 views
    We've covered the first release here. This time, Deebs & Jarell Perry have dropped the 2nd single off their collaborated EP titled Shift featuring Toronto producer Meesha. The sound of the new material has definitely evolved since his last releases, and the new track is titled "Giving U" and is a perfect follow-up. If you weren't convinced with the first release, listen to this one:  Shift EP w/ @jarellperry out 5/18 via Time No Place / Kompakt Listen to Meesha's...
  • Apr 29, 2015 @ 10:58Nick Brutus Grass Younes7 views
    Brooklyn-bred DJ extraordinaire Brenmar just dropped an unreleased track exclusively on his Youtube page for a remix he concocted for Trey Songz's track . The remix is a straight-up fire track that stays within the realms of his usual groovy and infectious productions. This one will definitely get you movin right away. Listen right here:   He also previously released his own remix of "BBHMM" from Rihanna. It's so good, and he's about to drop it for free download:  If you like what...
  • Apr 29, 2015 @ 10:25IX Staff18 views
    There is an old adage which suggests that the world is our playground, although it is only recently that this has seemed more like a portent for the future rather than a fanciful sound bite. As remote and wireless communication technology has evolved and become increasingly sophisticated, so too the barriers of international interaction have been gradually eradicated. A concept referred to as the Internet of Things (IoT) has also bridged the once cavernous gap between the physical and the...
More articles