What You Can Expect From Being Broke(ish)

What You Can Expect From Being Broke(ish)

So once again I find myself teetering on financial collapse. Constantly dipping into overdraft and selling every last textbook you hope you won't need anymore is a stressful and agonizing place to find yourself in. I'm not going to bitch and moan like it's not my fault... I'm the type of person who refuses to spend more than 20$ on any article of clothing but can easily burn through 60$ in one night of drinking (aka an idiot with poor priorities). Anyway, In my various experiences with this financial state I have compiled a few key aspects that people who are new to flat broke-ness might not expect and what to look out for. 

DISCLAIMER: I am by no means a financial expert or else I wouldn't be in this situation. Take all advice with a grain of salt as I have piss-poor judgement, decision making skills and I'm probably breaking most of these rules as we speak. I am also not trying to make light of people in ACTUAL dire financial situations; I am not starving or sleeping on the street, I'm just a dumbass.

Overdraft

This is a cruel cruel system most banks have implemented in order to blatantly screw people like me over. It pretty much means the bank lets you take out money from your account that you don't have, great right! Nope! Because the massive interest when you drop below 0$ makes -14$ turn into -80$ real fucking fast. This is a decent last resort but if you spend too long in the red zone, prepare to feel it.

#failperson

Mooching From Friends

If you are as broke as I am, be prepared to be THAT MOOCH. You all know the type; very friendly and apologetic but 'loans' and 'borrowing' turns into 'gifts' and 'charity' real fast. I have seen myself become this annoying parasite many nights; staying close to roommates to mooch a cab ride home, hang out with my friends who don't want to be the drunkest people at the party so they send me a shot here or there, etc. Overall once or twice and you are a minor inconvenience, more than that you become a permanent annoyance. Watch the 'borrowing'. 

Goodbye Luxuries

This one seems pretty obvious but is probably the hardest to do. No more late night drunk poutine, no more buying bacon or the 'good cheese' at the supermarket. You will have to get what's on the sale-iest of sales and don't buy microwaveable dinners; convenient but just cook for your goddam self it's 50% cheaper. 

But y tho

Nightlife

Obviously living in a city is expensive, some more than others but you can always expect a lively night on the town to involve a few bucks. If you're broke the obvious applies; find places with no cover that do pitchers. Buying beer in bulk and sharing (or not) in a dive bar is (very approximately) 1000 times less expensive than waiting in line to pay 20$ at a club that charges 9$ for a vodka fucking red bull. Your pre-drink is also vital, or as I have renamed it: Getting shitfaced on 10.1 as fast as possible (malt liquor and orange juice works too... it's actually not half bad).

Jobs

Now the obvious solution to your problem would be to get a job. To many, this is a daunting task. but as an experienced do-er of shitty jobs I have these words of advice: a) start early: finding a job isn't easy. It might take a few days it might take a couple months. Start before you're broke. b) Lower expectations: Unless you are ridiculously good looking or have really good connections, it's hard finding the 'ideal' job. Beggars can't be choosers so get ready to work somewhere miserable for low pay; dishwashing, telemarketing, etc. The more shitty jobs you do, the better your chances are of finding a not-so shitty job in the future.

By James Hecht
Jan 18, 2013 @ 15:07

Comments

Content Stream

  • Oct 18, 2014 @ 15:55Savannah Scott168 views
    Welcome to the pink palace of all things cute; Trippy Nails in Westmount has taken the more conservative neighbourhood by storm and changed Montreal's nail game. Surrounded by your average upscale spas and nail salons that characterize the wealthy area, this nail bar has separated itself from the others by offering styles you can't find anywhere else. Created by Serina Adele in 2013, a trip to Trippy is not your average manicure; having an appointment is an intimate and unique...
  • Oct 18, 2014 @ 13:36Nick Brutus Grass Younes134 views
    Ever wondered what a day in the life of Tommy Kruise looked like? You got it.  Photo via The Drake His latest music video for the track "RHEA" has surfaced the web and it gives you an inside look at a (possible) day-to-day life in the suburbs of Quebec. Presented by Scion Sessions, Tommy invited his buddy in crime Martin Pariseau to film his latest video off his highly-anticipated upcoming EP Fête Foreign which will leave you wondering if you REALLY knew him up until now....
  • Oct 18, 2014 @ 11:17Jules de Gaulmyn517 views
    "Amazing", "incredible", Tim Cook's -Apple's CEO, if you still didn't know that- favourite words were once again ubiquitous during Thursday night's unveiling of the brand's new iPads (iPad Mini 3 and iPad Air 2) and iMac, which took place in Cupertino, CA. Following September's euphoria surrounding the new iPhone 6 and the launch of the Apple Watch, October's keynotes always tend to be slightly under the radar. Why should it be? Why does the iPhone get to have more recognition and buzz than its...
  • Oct 18, 2014 @ 10:46Dana Ewachow194 views
    I could say the Scroguard is terrible because it looks like a diaper with a turtleneck for your peen, but anyone with eyes can see that. I could say that the Scroguard is terrible because it will instantly destroy the mood once the man drops his pants, but anyone without a latex fetish knows that. I could even say that the idea of latex grinding at your dry pelvis seems more like a one night stand with your Grandma’s couch than a good time with a stud. Again, I’m sure your vivid imaginations...
  • Oct 17, 2014 @ 15:05Savannah Scott650 views
    Ah, Halloween. To a troll it can be a more joyous time than Christmas. Dressing up, acting crazy, getting drunk, egging houses...you've earned it. You've been retaining good costume ideas since last year in the "very important" file in your memory, and now it's time to execute. You need the perfect pieces to build your vision, and you already know where you'll be heading to get them; American Apparel. There's only one place where you can find it all; from a large man in need of a bodysuit for a...
  • Oct 17, 2014 @ 11:40May Goldhacker460 views
    Take a moment to think back on all the Snapchats you’ve sent in your smart-phone-life… Now imagine that those were all collected in an archive, and were about to be posted online. The narcissists of you say, “Sweet, everyone can see my selfies!” the sexters say, “Oh god.” And 4chan users say, “This was bound to snappen.”    Snapchat photos are meant to self destruct after being seen, but apparently hackers on 4chan have been boasting about having “at least 100,000” images collected of...
  • Oct 17, 2014 @ 10:47Bee Hill 36 views
    So, I don't know about you guys, but we're definitely still high af on the news that exploded on the internet last week: Twin Peaks is finally coming back!  Twin Peaks, (for those of you living under a rock or too busy reading about the Kardashians, or whatever) was a series originally directed by David Lynch and Mark Frost, that aired two seasons from 1990 to 1991 on ABC.  The show had all of the makings of a cult classic: campy, cryptic, dark, quirky one-liners, sexy cast and, of...
  • Oct 17, 2014 @ 10:32Austin Edward39 views
    New York producer Feral (fka In Transit) has just released a new single titled "Paradiso / Go"  - the follow up to his debut Haymaker EP. Any DJ worth their weight in wax is always on the lookout for that perfect piece to open their set with and “Paradiso” is just that: a great opener. The track begins with a single melody oscillating in the distance before its remaining elements steadily fall into place with the brewing momentum of a thunderstorm.  B-side “Go” is...
More articles