What You Can Expect From Being Broke(ish)

What You Can Expect From Being Broke(ish)

So once again I find myself teetering on financial collapse. Constantly dipping into overdraft and selling every last textbook you hope you won't need anymore is a stressful and agonizing place to find yourself in. I'm not going to bitch and moan like it's not my fault... I'm the type of person who refuses to spend more than 20$ on any article of clothing but can easily burn through 60$ in one night of drinking (aka an idiot with poor priorities). Anyway, In my various experiences with this financial state I have compiled a few key aspects that people who are new to flat broke-ness might not expect and what to look out for. 

DISCLAIMER: I am by no means a financial expert or else I wouldn't be in this situation. Take all advice with a grain of salt as I have piss-poor judgement, decision making skills and I'm probably breaking most of these rules as we speak. I am also not trying to make light of people in ACTUAL dire financial situations; I am not starving or sleeping on the street, I'm just a dumbass.

Overdraft

This is a cruel cruel system most banks have implemented in order to blatantly screw people like me over. It pretty much means the bank lets you take out money from your account that you don't have, great right! Nope! Because the massive interest when you drop below 0$ makes -14$ turn into -80$ real fucking fast. This is a decent last resort but if you spend too long in the red zone, prepare to feel it.

#failperson

Mooching From Friends

If you are as broke as I am, be prepared to be THAT MOOCH. You all know the type; very friendly and apologetic but 'loans' and 'borrowing' turns into 'gifts' and 'charity' real fast. I have seen myself become this annoying parasite many nights; staying close to roommates to mooch a cab ride home, hang out with my friends who don't want to be the drunkest people at the party so they send me a shot here or there, etc. Overall once or twice and you are a minor inconvenience, more than that you become a permanent annoyance. Watch the 'borrowing'. 

Goodbye Luxuries

This one seems pretty obvious but is probably the hardest to do. No more late night drunk poutine, no more buying bacon or the 'good cheese' at the supermarket. You will have to get what's on the sale-iest of sales and don't buy microwaveable dinners; convenient but just cook for your goddam self it's 50% cheaper. 

But y tho

Nightlife

Obviously living in a city is expensive, some more than others but you can always expect a lively night on the town to involve a few bucks. If you're broke the obvious applies; find places with no cover that do pitchers. Buying beer in bulk and sharing (or not) in a dive bar is (very approximately) 1000 times less expensive than waiting in line to pay 20$ at a club that charges 9$ for a vodka fucking red bull. Your pre-drink is also vital, or as I have renamed it: Getting shitfaced on 10.1 as fast as possible (malt liquor and orange juice works too... it's actually not half bad).

Jobs

Now the obvious solution to your problem would be to get a job. To many, this is a daunting task. but as an experienced do-er of shitty jobs I have these words of advice: a) start early: finding a job isn't easy. It might take a few days it might take a couple months. Start before you're broke. b) Lower expectations: Unless you are ridiculously good looking or have really good connections, it's hard finding the 'ideal' job. Beggars can't be choosers so get ready to work somewhere miserable for low pay; dishwashing, telemarketing, etc. The more shitty jobs you do, the better your chances are of finding a not-so shitty job in the future.

By James Hecht
Jan 18, 2013 @ 15:07

Comments

Content Stream

  • It’s so close you can almost hear it. Amongst the never-ending list of festivals is one of our favourite ones: Shambhala. It’s been running since 1998 and is an oasis of electronic music coming live to your eardrums in the beauty of a riveting forest in BC with a river running through it. If that hasn’t convinced you yet maybe this year’s lineup will. The hot sun, cool river, endless dance, eclectic beats, and all those beautiful free people doing their beautiful free thang. As the...
  • AA Wallace releases a brand new video for the song VLT Girls (We Win Again!) today and announces shows in Toronto, Montreal, Charlottetown & Fredericton. Playing songs off his upcoming album In Alpha Zones.  VLT stands for Video Lottery Terminals. These electronic slot machines, which are common in AA Wallace's home province of Nova Scotia, are hidden away in dark corners of many bars in Canada. Inspiration for the song came from Wallace observing a ...
  • Pat Jordache's Steps springs from three years of labyrinthine sessions, building a state of the art studio, producing artists on his Banko Gotiti imprint and managing a sleazy dance club. Dark, playful, loosely honest, cynical and care-free, the record pulls from Eno, Plastic Soul, and Shep Pettibone. For all of its careful assemblage, Steps is an uncanny, accidental party record. LP available this spring on 140g vinyl and through major digital outlets. Steps...
  • Today, the dynamic duo of Ango (LuckyMe) and Druture (Chopsquad/Grizzly), join forces as LYK (Let You Know) to deliver it’s first internet care package entitled 'LEAK.'   The group draws on Ango’s penchant for viral melody, Druture’s couldn’t-be-any-closer-to-the-street ear and a whole lot of virtual Get Dumb-ery and one-upmanship to shape a new take on electronic-focused club hip hop. It's a different kind of bounce. This is a #NoDropZone!   "See What I Can Do"...
  • Montreal and Toronto's nightlife scenes are notorious for its eclectic crowds, avant-garde fashion, and wild times. People travel from all over the world to come party in these cities. Whether it is to hear good music, watch good looking people dance the night away, or to end up at one of those wild afterparties. We picked a couple of candid photos that showcase magical moments of what represents a night out in Montreal and Toronto to give you a small taste of excitement for the weekend:...
  • A few days ago, a new petition against rapper Action Bronson has sprung up on the internet, but this time, it's to attempt to ban him from performing at Montreal's Osheaga Festival. The reason?  Action Bronson brags about rape, violence against women and even femicide in his song Consensual Rape and his music video Brunch. This new trend has been directly influenced by the successful petition that was put together to get him off the roster for the NXNE public show that he was scheduled...
  • Japan is hands-down homeland of the freaky: they make the creepiest horror movies, invent useless and scary stuff that can give their horror movie a run for their money... In conclusion some of the things that hail from the land of the rising sun are bound to give you nightmares, or plain and simple weird the f*** out of you. One of their latest additions to the theatre of the macabre is the dating simulation game Hatoful Boyfriend - literally translated as 'hurtful pigeon boyfriend'......
  • Time travel. While for some it's nothing more than a farfetched dream only fulfilled through countless amounts of science fiction, for others it's a work in process - a possible feat in the near future. In Jacob Gentry's SYNCHRONICITY, traveling through time and space becomes a successful operation when physicist Jim Beale (played by Chad McKnight) and team do the unthinkable. Fast-forward 30-45 minutes into the feature. Without thinking, Beale steps into the wormhole opened by the...
More articles