To Tinder or Not to Tinder? or How to get Laid using your Smartphone

To Tinder or Not to Tinder? or How to get Laid using your Smartphone

There is a new, absolutely effortless way to get laid, and what's so great about it is that you don't even need to get your ass out of bed to find your soulmate. Yes, the time of desperate nocturnal hunts is over, thanks to Tinder—a smartphone app, launched in the US, that permits you to browse through the profile pics of sexy fellow users. The way it works is simple: if a chick or a guy is hot, like their photo. And if they like yours back, you can instantly commence your digital flirtations. Who knows where it might lead you... Already 6 people got engaged this way.

When there's a match, the chat can begin

Well, that’s fantastic. Zero effort is needed to get into a hot person's bed. The era of shyness is now over, and you can talk to your 1-minute-old crush without fear of being ridiculously incapacitated. 

But honestly, that shit is weird. I mean, a machine is hooking you up. What happened to "No pain no gain"? Where is the challenge, the satisfaction that you’ve seduced someone by your own means, the pride, the glory, the timeless moment when you finally get what you want? You can flirt at home to get in touch with the people that are supposed to like you, and vise versa. I said, "supposed to like you." Many people see this phenomenon as the glorification of appearance over personality, and although I might sound like a lame old transistor radio, yeah, that’s "today's sad truth". 

Who knows who you're dating, they're sexy psychopaths sometimes...

Yet, think of the hundred times you fell in love in the street. How many times did you tell yourself that you would definitely marry that girl if you had the opportunity to chat her up. One has to admit that almost every romantic or sexual encounter is triggered "at first sight". With Tinder, there are no excuses. So, hey, it's the modern day, and finding a way to have sex without putting in huge amounts of time or money, would not label you as a creepy-geeky-stalker just for having that app on your phone.

So, for every guy who needs a wingman, and every chick who needs a wingwoman, don’t rely on your best friend; Tinder is faster, better, and it won't ever cock-block you.

By Virgile Castro
Jun 6, 2013 @ 10:18


Content Stream

  • 7 hours 4 min agoCyncia Sanon164 views
    I know you guys remember that one song that trivialized your whole entire youth, and same-sex attraction... At least I know you remember that PROVOCATIVE music video where two Russian lesbian girls are making out in the rain... at school... dressed as school girls... looking oh SO young.  They strategically performed together at the SOCHI Olympics (to fight off any anti-LGBT controversy), but have gone solo-dolo since then. One of the two singers (the one with a lip-injection,...
  • 7 hours 27 min agoEmilie Croning12 views
    A fan from Toronto got her dance class to choreograph and perform a recital to Keys N Krates', "Are We Faded", a song off their new EP, Every Nite. The video may remind you of those old school home videos that your dad recorded at your dance recital back in the day.  It’s pretty cool, not gonna lie.  The electronic trio clearly thought so too and released the video through their record label Dim Mak, for all to see. Incorporating styles from ballet to tap, it’s interesting to...
  • 9 hours 6 min agoZoe Chou54 views
    Yes – there are officially more (legal) reasons to throw shade at Robin Thicke. Perhaps I’m being harsh and biased by the fact that he actually used to be an amazing RnB vocalist, but what the fuck happened to him in the last year? His music has gone from serenading the hearts of women, and even some men, to that of objectifying and, by the looks of his last video, terrifying them. All that aside, the fact remains that “Blurred Lines” was and is the most popular song of the past year. The best...
  • 9 hours 10 min agoAmanda Bell-lloch89 views
    MILLENNIALS: The Generation 'Y', the "ME ME ME" narcissists with *no* work ethic and destructive partying habits. Yes, us Millennials are messy babies; we are entitled human beings and we love our pseudo-hippie lifestyles and Instagram selfies. BUT there is a lot more to our generation than selfishness; and while I have encountered different opinions in articles about it, not a lot of them are addressing an issue I personally, but also as part of the group, is concerned with: the...
  • 9 hours 24 min agoShorey Andrews17 views
    She has been referred to as Canada's pixie several times over, but LIGHTS is much more than that. She is an extremely talented singer-songwriter that has just come out with her third studio album, Little Machines. LIGHTS checked-in at Toronto's Fan Expo earlier this summer and hosted a listening party for some lucky attendees prior to the album's release. But, now Little Machines is available for everyone's ears.  The electro-pop artist recently began to build her family with...
  • 9 hours 29 min agoNick Watts5 views
    To celebrate inking a deal with Flux Pavilion and Doctor P's mighty Circus Records, the Bristol-based duo, Diskord, are giving away some music for free in the form of the thunderous "Go Hard". Despite being relative newcomers to the game, the pair have already made quite an impression on fans and fellow producers, causing this refined imprint to move quickly and snap up their talents. "Go Hard" combines rolling sub low sand pitch switching vocal snippets - it's sheer riot music. Go and...
  • 9 hours 38 min agoDana Ewachow87 views
    If you’re not a gamer, you probably don’t know about the game Destiny. It’s more than a big deal. People are putting in hours on Destiny like it’s their full-time job. If you’re a gamer, then I’m guessing you’re on a bathroom break in between missions. If you’re in love with a gamer like me, then I weep for you. I'm looking towards the sky and cursing the gods. I’m all for my boyfriend playing video games. I have my hobbies and he has his. Mine include cookie eating and writing articles that...
  • Sep 22, 2014 @ 12:52Zoe Chou35 views
    Bromance Records has never been much for subtlety. It is the mentality of “Go Big or Go Home” with a dark twist. Fueled by artists like Gesaffelstein, Brodinski and Club Cheval, Sam Tiba’s latest video joins those ranks as “Déguisement” literally gets the American Horror Story makeover.   It opens with a faceless nun wearing an inverted head piece walking through one of the cleanest abandoned alleys I’ve ever laid eyes on. As s/he walks (like a horse if you look closely enough), s/he comes...
More articles